What is it about old people and buses? I notice this a lot when I travel on a bus, to and from work. When an old person is about to arrive at their stop, while the bus is still moving they pull themselves to their feet, holding onto the rail really tightly so they don't fall over. Still, before the bus stops moving, they make their way to the exit door, holding onto the rails as they move, always almost falling over, but steadfastly determined to make it.

What is it about old people and buses?

Younger people, with more sense, wait until the bus stops moving before they get up and move to the door.

I think old people are trying to prove to themselves that they're still 'young', that no moving bus is going to make THEM sit still and feel old.

Every day, you see them thrown about by the bus, almost falling over, too weak to do it safely.

What is it about old people and buses, where the young are smart and the old are stupid? The young can get up and move about safely - and while they do, they often choose not to - but the old are fragile and weak, and every time they do it, they risk injury to themselves.

I wonder if an old person's pride is what drives them to risk injury, pretending that they've still got the strength to overcome the odds.

I think what affects me the most is that I consider it stupid, and it frustrates me to see them doing it. I see them ending up injuring themselves as a result, and I wonder what happens to a person's good sense as they get old.

The last time I saw Mel was back in December 2001. I'd fallen in love with her, but was unable to get any kind of fulfillment about it. Over the past couple of years since then, we've kept in touch and our friendship has grown. We've gotten closer, just by the fact that we've always kept in touch with each other, telling each other of our lives, sharing photos, etc. Time has dimmed the expectations I originally had, but not the feelings. There's still love there, but without expectation it's simply a very, very close friendship.

She's coming to NZ in March, before she heads out to Canada for at least a year on a working holiday. We've been planning her time here, to travel around the north island of NZ for a couple of weeks, and enjoy each other's company while seeing some of this country.

Over the past few days we've been getting excited about it, and she's thanked me for being a wonderful friend. I've thanked her for not 'running away' when it got difficult with my feelings 2 years ago. She's then come back with a reply, some of which is here:

...Whether or not there are feelings there Al, we both know that our lives are currently heading down different avenues. That may not always be the case and I hope that in the future we can live together for a period of time, whether it's in the same house, or the same city. But as such adaptable people we can wait a period of time between seeing each other...

...I love you Al, and it's that kind of feeling that will exist a lifetime...

I'm not going to push it, because I've been there once and didn't get anywhere, but her comments are ambiguous, and made me feel that anything's possible. Hey, I know anything is, but until something different happens, I'll always only expect a friendship with her.

The last time I saw Mel was back in December 2001. I'd fallen in love with her, but was unable to get any kind of fulfillment about it. Over the past couple of years since then, we've kept in touch and our friendship has grown. We've gotten closer, just by the fact that we've always kept in touch with each other, telling each other of our lives, sharing photos, etc. Time has dimmed the expectations I originally had, but not the feelings. There's still love there, but without expectation it's simply a very, very close friendship.

She's coming to NZ in March, before she heads out to Canada for at least a year on a working holiday. We've been planning her time here, to travel around the north island of NZ for a couple of weeks, and enjoy each other's company while seeing some of this country.

Over the past few days we've been getting excited about it, and she's thanked me for being a wonderful friend. I've thanked her for not 'running away' when it got difficult with my feelings 2 years ago. She's then come back with a reply, some of which is here:

...Whether or not there are feelings there Al, we both know that our lives are currently heading down different avenues. That may not always be the case and I hope that in the future we can live together for a period of time, whether it's in the same house, or the same city. But as such adaptable people we can wait a period of time between seeing each other...

...I love you Al, and it's that kind of feeling that will exist a lifetime...

I'm not going to push it, because I've been there once and didn't get anywhere, but her comments are ambiguous, and made me feel that anything's possible. Hey, I know anything is, but until something different happens, I'll always only expect a friendship with her.

The last time I saw Mel was back in December 2001. I'd fallen in love with her, but was unable to get any kind of fulfillment about it. Over the past couple of years since then, we've kept in touch and our friendship has grown. We've gotten closer, just by the fact that we've always kept in touch with each other, telling each other of our lives, sharing photos, etc. Time has dimmed the expectations I originally had, but not the feelings. There's still love there, but without expectation it's simply a very, very close friendship.

She's coming to NZ in March, before she heads out to Canada for at least a year on a working holiday. We've been planning her time here, to travel around the north island of NZ for a couple of weeks, and enjoy each other's company while seeing some of this country.

Over the past few days we've been getting excited about it, and she's thanked me for being a wonderful friend. I've thanked her for not 'running away' when it got difficult with my feelings 2 years ago. She's then come back with a reply, some of which is here:

...Whether or not there are feelings there Al, we both know that our lives are currently heading down different avenues. That may not always be the case and I hope that in the future we can live together for a period of time, whether it's in the same house, or the same city. But as such adaptable people we can wait a period of time between seeing each other...

...I love you Al, and it's that kind of feeling that will exist a lifetime...

I'm not going to push it, because I've been there once and didn't get anywhere, but her comments are ambiguous, and made me feel that anything's possible. Hey, I know anything is, but until something different happens, I'll always only expect a friendship with her.

Yesterday I applied for a job on a cruise ship as Internet Manager. I'd be looking after internet services for onboard passengers and crew. Which cruise ship? I don't know. Any cruise ship.

I filled out an online application form with a group that submits my application and resume to all cruise ship companies around the world. Somewhere, someone might want me.

I decided that I wouldn't mind a break from where I'm working now, and the minimum contract period for working on a cruise liner is 3-4 months.

I can see myself taking a break from work by working on a cruise liner and travelling around the world and getting paid more for it than what I'm currently earning now. I'd get the opportunity to see places I've never seen before, take photos I've never taken before, and meet people I'd never meet otherwise.

I've discussed it with Penny (my flatmate), who's happy to look after Eve while I'm gone.

The application form was submitted yesterday, with my resume. All I have to do now is sit back and wait. With my experience in IT and internet support, I feel I've got a good chance of getting something somewhere.

I'm really excited about it! It's a decision to do something different, and see new things at the same time. I've been doing the same thing now for 3.5 years - the longest I've ever worked in a single job - and I think I deserve this kind of break. Even though it's still yet another job, I think it will have the feel of a holiday about it, and that is what I am very attracted to.

Welcome to 2004. It's a pleasure to have your company as we continue our adventure into the future.

I still remember in the early eighties when I was reading a comic book called 2000 AD, and wondering how close to those visions of the future we would be when we really reached 2000 AD.

They were far grander than reality turned out to be. In many respects, we have gone backwards rather than forwards. The positive visions of the future we once had are now replaced by a negative focus on the present. We don't look to the future and wonder like we once used to.

I remember when mankind reached the moon. Thirty+ years later, we've forgotten about the moon and failing to reach Mars. With all the modern technology available, they're unable to put a lander successfully onto Mars. How did they do it over 30 years ago? I wonder about that...

I remember the visions we once had of high-technology in our houses. I remember reading a book from the school library about our future, and it talked about space travel and residential living. Travel to the stars was possible twenty years ago using nuclear powered engines - until the US implemented a treaty banning the use of nuclear energy in space. It's ok to use on earth, but not in space? Hmmm...

I remember reading about the high-technology houses we'd be living in within twenty years, using a combination of solar and electrical energy, within a house that was controlled primarily by computer systems.

Twenty years later we have discussions about .Net and how it will revolutionise the future in the same way.

I see the same thing happening that was happening 20 years ago, and I wonder if somehow, technological advancement is being hampered. Our adventure into the future hasn't changed much in the past 20 years.

We've gone from the Cold War into the war against terrorism, which, to me, is even more obscure than what the Cold War ever was.

War against terrorism. Terrorist are those who are against American interests. So America invades those countries that are against American interests, classifying them as terrorist nations. The people reject the American invasion and protest, and as a result they are even worse terrorists.

Really, the worst terrorist nation in modern civilisation is America.

But I just realised I've begun to rant and rave about my feelings about what's happening in the world today. Instead of deleting and starting again, I'll just leave it as it is, 'cause it's stuff I wanted to say.

Needless to say, while this entry started as a happy new year, it turned into a reminiscence about the joys of future exploration.

Don't get me wrong. As you can tell from past entries I've made, I'm quite happy and excited about my own personal adventure. I'm just sad that the world as a whole seems to have lost some of that wonder for the future it used to have, and instead I feel a sadness for what's happening in the present.

But I'll continue to write about those adventures I have. As I've often said, it's nice to have you along for the ride.

It doesn't seem a year ago when I started this format for my journal , but a year it's been. My journal has been going since November 1998 - over 5 years now. I imagine it will be going for at least another 5 years, but I don't see why it should ever end. Except when I die. It'll end then. I wonder who will close my journal for me...

Writing down the story of my life as it happens is an interesting task I set myself. I wonder what will happen to it when I'm gone.