I was on the bus this morning on the way to work, sitting across the aisle from a guy who was talking to someone next to him. He was talking about the rugby team that he trains, a bunch of school kids. He was talking about his philosophy of training, getting them to be aware of the consequences of their actions, in regards to their positions and actions during a game. He was talking about how other teams that he's played against seem to be really strict in the placement of the kids, and gets the kids to stick to positions during game play. He felt that was too constricting for the development of the kids. The guy next to him asked him how many games his team won, and the guy replied that they didn't win many, but at least his kids were developing their own understanding of the consequences of their actions and placements on the rugby field.

I shook my head, thinking that the guy had absolutely no understanding of tactics. I know nothing about rugby, and I have no experience with coaching, but I DO know that if you are in the position of being responsible for a group of people, then you need to manage those people in order for them to be effective. You need a plan of action, and you need to make sure that each member of the team is in the position that they are most suited for, and you need to constantly manage them to make them understand that the position they're in is the best one for their skills and talents. It's like chess. You move the appropriate pieces around the board in an appropriate manner in order to get the goal that you want.

This guy didn't seem to grasp the concept of effective management or coaching, instead believing that the chaotic theory of 'leave it up to themselves to do the best that they want to do' is the preferred one. No wonder his kids rarely win.

And then he started talking about sport on Sky TV, and then whinging about how he was ripped off by Sky. They rang up and offered him a deal to get Sky connected. He agreed to having a rep come out and talk to him about it. The rep outlined a deal for him that he agreed to. Then the Sky people advised him, before they connected it, that the deal couldn't be done because it was outside their standard deals. He said that the rep said it could be done, and so they agreed to honour it. Then after a few months they contacted him again and said that they weren't able to continue the deal, and that he would need to pay an amount in backpay to cover the difference for the previous few months between what they thought it was worth and what he was paying, AND he would need to then spend an extra $30 a month from that point on in order to keep the service. He agreed, because he liked watching the sport and other services through Sky.

I shook my head again, realising that he was, indeed, a LOSER. This guy gets jerked around by service providers and doesn't have the balls to say, "Excuse me?! You advised me that I can get this service, you accepted it, you provided it. You are now NOT going to do what you've just said you want to do, otherwise I'll cancel the contract and then discuss YOUR breach of contract with you."

That's what he should have done, but nooooo. This guy has no balls, and no idea about management of himself and his life.

I wonder how many people are the same? I know that the only reason companies try to screw over people is because they can. Experience has shown them that customers generally are willing to allow themselves to be screwed over, and so screwing people over becomes a profitable business plan. It's easy to not screw over those that 'fight back', because there's a lot of profit to be made from all the rest.

I've been doing some good work on the training stuff that I've been doing, with some excellent feedback on my progress and what I'm doing for the training material.

However, I've done both a good thing and a bad thing today.

Bad first: I'm not going to be travelling around the country any more. Travelling around and training staff was part of the job description, which is now no longer happening.

Shock-horror!? Not quite.

Now the good: I'm not travelling the country any more because I've found a better way of doing the training, which has been accepted with excitement by all concerned and I received the comment, "Well done - that's thinking outside the box."

I'm pleased.

So now to detail my new plan. My training was going to involve travelling around the country and do a number of training sessions at each branch. Unfortunately, it was only going to be a presentation, as my initial desire of having it interactive were discarded when I learnt that the resources of a 'classroom' would not be available, and it would have to simply be a 'training presentation' rather than hands-on training.

A problem with this, that I began to see after discussing this training with some of the technicians here at Friday night drinks last week, is that there are going to be people who either aren't interested in turning up for it, or are going to be away sick, or away doing other work.

Not to mention those people who aren't going to remember everything they're seeing in the presentation simply because it's not hands-on. No interactivity = boredom.

I realised that there might be a lot of people that I wouldn't be training, and the whole thing about this project is to train EVERYONE.

So how could I guarantee effective training of everyone? Tough question.

I didn't think about it over the weekend (once my work day finishes, so does my thoughts and worries about work), but it's been on my mind today. Then I got an idea that was inspired by a 'presentation tips' website I was looking through. The tip I was reading was talking about how to practice a presentation, by recording your voice in line with the presentation, and then sitting back and watching the presentation while listening to your voiceover and seeing how you could improve it. I thought that was a good idea.

And then - 'POW!' A brainwave!

I realised that I didn't need to actually be at the other branches in order for my presentation to be there! I could put the presentation (with voiceover) onto CD and send it out to all Computerland staff.

How to get them all to listen to it, and for us to know that everyone has received and gone through this training method?

First, have a set of headphones or earplugs with each CD, and have it free for them to keep. This allows them to listen to the CD (*and watch it) without interfering with anyone else's work. So there's that objection closed.

Secondly, have the last bit of the presentation point them to a web site that takes them through playing with the functionality of what the training is all about.

Finally, end it with a short quiz that tests them on their knowledge. When they press SUBMIT, it sends the results of the quiz, along with their details, to the authorised person who then signs off their name on the list of Computerland staff.

After a week or so, we follow up with all those who haven't done it, and remind them that it needs to be done, and keep on following up those who haven't signed off on the training.

My bosses loved the idea when I talked to them about it this afternoon, because it helps ensure everyone gets trained, and it saves the company money because they're not paying airfares and travel costs, etc.

Brownie points for me! (I'm doing the best I can to make sure they want to keep me, you see. It's all part of my plan to make sure I don't go back to the helpdesk...)

So the bad news is that I don't get to travel around the country. But the good news is that I can provide a better training experience that gets to all staff, and I look good in the eyes of the managers.

I was walking along the street one evening a couple of weeks ago. There were some teenage boys in front of me, blocking the sidewalk. People were walking on the road in order to walk around them. I'm not one to do this, so I was going to walk through them. When people are ignorant in groups, I do something which 'politely' points out their ignorance to them. Usually by just walking in the middle of them. I notice it works, as they usually then move out of the way of everyone else.

Anyway, before I could walk in the middle of this group of teenage boys, they split up, with some of them moving closer to the wall of the building, while the remainder began walking away from me. However, they were doing it slowly, so I relatively quickly came up behind them. Just as I was about 2 feet behind one of them, he turned to his side and spat on the sidewalk. It just missed my foot.

I 'glared' at the back of his head, with the full force of my annoyance at ignorant and disgusting kids who go around spitting on the sidewalk. Just then, by accident, my foot clipped the back of his heel, and he turned his head in annoyance at who had clipped his heel.

He accidentally caught the full force my 'glare', which included years of built-up aggression.

When I was 6 years old, kids spat on me once at school. When I was 13, kids spat on the inside of the school's toilet door and pushed me into the toilet (I happened to be walking past at the time), closing the door behind me. I'd only found this out when I went to open the door. I washed my hands and waited for them to open it.

And this kid spat on the sidewalk in front of me, almost hitting my foot.

As he looked at me, his face frowning, he saw my 'glare'. I think I scared him. He probably thought I was about to beat the shit out of him. His frown disappeared and he quickly turned away, going into a shop we were walking past. I continued walking, my 'glare' disappearing as I laughed to myself.

I wonder if I've scarred him for life? I wonder if he'll never spit again, because he'll think of the crazed guy kicking his feet with the intense look in his eyes.

Hehehe.

I think I've done a good deed for the world.

Today is the day that I've been here in New Zealand exactly 4 years. I arrived here on June 14 2000, and it's now June 14 2004.

Happy Anniversary to me!
Happy Anniversary to me!
Happy Anniversary dear Alan...
Happy Anniversary to me!

(Sung to the tune of Happy Birthday to me!)

I think this will be a small trip down memory lane. We're going to go through each of my entries from when I arrived, at this time each year, and we're going to see how things have developed.

16th June 2000

This was an update, advising of how I'd just arrived, met a few of Michelle's friends, and started working at an internet cafe straight away.

I finally got through into the arrivals lounge where I had a nice reunion with Michelle... It was great to see her again and to be here permanently - with her. She then took me on a scenic drive of part of Wellington on our way home. It was certainly breathtaking...

It's still breathtaking, and maybe I am here permanently? God, I hope not...

We move onto June 14 2001, but the closest entry is June 16

He asked me why all the women in my life seem to have no issues until after they've been with me! Even though I thought it was pretty funny, there was certainly a lot of truth in it. It made me realise something that I'd forgotten. In my past, I've been a catalyst for change in those women who have gotten close to me. Through involvement with me, their life has changed considerably, and it's always been for the better. It's like I've been a gateway for positive change in their lives, but it hasn't been enough to keep them with me. Even though it's a good thing that involvement with me has improved their lives somehow, I'm starting to get a little peeved about my own issues that keep on bringing up those things which causes a woman to not want to be with me.

I first realised it 3 years ago, and it's still occurring (although there's less of my own issues involved, as I've successfully worked on a lot of those!)... However, I'm wondering if the changes this time can become positive rather than negative. More on that later...

Let's move onto June 14 2002, with the closest entry being June 20

Wakana and I have moved back to dating, enjoying each other's company. I wasn't comfortable with how things were going in the relationship, as there was too much of a communications barrier for what I needed in a relationship, so now we're just seeing each other every now and again. All I'm doing is enjoying the moment.

I wonder if karma is getting me back....

The past week has seen me investigating the selling of my PC and replacing it with a laptop. After a week, I'm still unsure about whether a laptop within my budget would make a good desktop replacement. I'll continue to think about it and do the research.

Wow, I've had it for almost 2 years now! And I'm pleased that it's STILL better than most laptops on the market today. That's why I paid so bloody much for it though...

Ok, let's move onto June 14 2003, and here we delve into last year's foray into the message board format.

I went to my camera course tonight, and learnt some more cool stuff about taking photos of a night, using long exposure times and other stuff that I won't bore you with. Needless to say, I'm really excited about the things that I'm learning, and it's only going to help me take better photos - which was the whole idea!

It was definitely beneficial in terms of increasing my photography skills, and I'm very happy I did it.

So that's what I've been doing at this time each year over the past 4 years. Let's look at a few other things that have happened over this time.

• I have lasted 4 years (next month) at Computerland, which, for me is an amazing achievement in my life. It's the longest I've ever been in any one job.
  
  
• I've gone from dating (only) western women to dating (mostly) asian women. I once thought asian women wouldn't like me, now I know they love me. :lol:
  
  
• I started doing collaborative Star Trek writing almost 3 years ago, in December 2001, and I'm still doing it. In that time I've created an alternate universe and inspired dozens of other people to write within what I've created.
  
  
• I've gotten into writing articles, moving towards my envisioned future of being an author of personal development/spirituality material. I've increased my knowledge of relationships, and helped friends and acquaintances improve their own relationships, or their attitudes towards them.
  
  
• I've managed to keep my journal going for almost 6 years now; quite a record in the fragile nature of a constantly changing internet.
  
  
• I'm turning 38 this year, and I'm feeling old. I was described the other day as 'mature'. What happened to 'youthful'? Where did that go? I'm getting grey hairs on my sideburns. *sigh*

Here's a toast to you all. May you still be around next year!

*raises his glass to you*

I just watched a movie called Lost In Translation, starring Bill Murray. It made me sad. Do not continue reading if you haven't seen it and plan on seeing it, as I'm giong to be telling you all about it.



Bill played an actor getting old, not able to get work in America, so he's in Tokyo doing a whiskey commercial for 2 million dollars. However, he can't understand the language, and the people are strange. He's bored and alone, with his family back in America. We quickly learn that he forgets his kids' birthday and he can't be bothered giving his wife an answer about what colour the new carpet in his study should be.

While at the hotel in Tokyo he meets a young girl called Charlotte, who's probably about 23-24 as she's only just graduated 2 years previously. She's in Tokyo with her husband, who's a photographer. He was sent there on assignment and she tagged along. While he's out doing the photographing, we quickly find out that he ignores her. They've been married 2 years, and she's wondering if it was the right thing to do.

Her and Bill meet in the bar, and during the course of the movie they hang out together, mainly because they're both American and both alone in Japan. Lonely too.

The movie takes place over a week, and in that time their relationship gets closer. However, they don't engage in any of the normal aspects of a blossoming relationship. It's like they're friends, as close as friends could be without it being sexual.

But the chemistry develops, and before we know it, it's time for him to leave and go back to America. He doesn't want to leave though, and she tells him to stay and they'll start a jazz band. They laugh it off, knowing that they're both married and that could never be. Or could it?

He has a discussion with his wife, who talks about the kids missing him but they're getting used to him being gone. He tells her he wants to change, and become healthier, eating less fatty foods like the Japanese. She tells him he should stay in Japan, and he'd be able to have it every day. He says nothing. She asks him if she should be worried, and he says 'only if you want to'. She says she has to go and she'll "see you... talk to you later." There's little love there. He hangs up, and sinks into the bath, thinking.

After some more time going out and getting closer still, eventually there's a goodbye between him and Charlotte. However it's shallow, without any expressed feeling, as there are Japanese people around waiting to say their goodbyes and see him off to the airport, but as she walks away, sorry to go, he looks after her, sorry that he's going.

As the taxi begins taking him to the airport, he sees her walking along a street, and he jumps out and follows her. Catching up, he calls out her name and she turns around. They stand there looking at each other, and then they hug. He says something to her that we can't hear, but she seems happy. She says ok, and they kiss for the first time. They smile lovingly at each other and he goes back to his cab.

As he's in the car he looks energised, and excited about the future. He smiles, his eyes gleaming, and he looks the happiest and most excited we've seen him during the movie.

The end.



I was originally disappointed with the ending of the movie, because I didn't know what he said to her, and I didn't think there was a resolution. However, during the writing of it above, I realised that what he must have said to her was that he'll be back for her, and she said ok. He was energised because he was going home to end his marriage, and then return to see her.

I felt much better about the movie upon realising that.

But anyway, what made me sad? It was the theme of going through your life wondering if the choices you've made are the right ones, and are the people you marry the ones you're meant to be with.

It made me feel sad because I saw a future possibility of myself in Bill Murray's character. Being with someone I love for years, and then waking up one day and realising I didn't love them any more, and realising that I wasn't happy with my life.

I don't want to be in that position myself one day. I don't want to wake up one day and wonder what I've been doing with my life.

In some respects, I feel like that already, and I don't want it to continue in the future. I'm feeling a little lost and alone right now, which I didn't realise until the movie inspired the feelings in me.

I'll talk more about it another time.

I asked for a USB keyboard yesterday at work, so that I could connect it to my laptop and work more ergonomically. You'd think it'd be a simple thing in a computer company, wouldn't you, but nooooo...

Within the space of 24 hours, we've had a number of people involved, with keyboards of the wrong type ordered, someone wondering if Australia would have one, someone asking if maybe a PS/2 to USB convertor would be appropriate, and even purchase orders supplied. All I wanted was a fucking USB keyboard lying around somewhere!

When the email came in asking if they should get it from Australia, I wrote back and said, "What is wrong with you people? There's keyboards lying around down in the workshop!"

I asked for a small plastic bench as well, in order to put my laptop onto and lift it up off the desk somewhat. You'd think that'd be easy, wouldn't you. I got emails back asking if I wanted an adjustable desk, and then I was asked if I wanted a plastic or a wooden laptop bench. Then there were purchase order requests for that too.

I cancelled the order, deciding I'll stick it on top of a filing tray once I get the keyboard.

Then, just when I thought everything had been sorted about the keyboard, I got an email asking if I wanted an ergonomic or a normal one. I thought about going for the cheapest option, but then thought, fuck it! Ergonomic, I said.

I'm hoping it'll be a super duper keyboard that flies.

I was reading a message board last week that caters to cat owners, reading what others experience and advise. There was an 18 year old girl in America talking about her cat that was sick, it needed an operation. She wasn't able to afford the operation costs, and she wasn't able to afford the $500 that the vet wanted to charge for keeping it overnight and making the diagnosis. The sickness wasn't life threatening, but the vet kept the cat until she could pay the $500. A week went by and the vet demanded the money, the girl wasn't able to pay, the vet killed the cat.

begin rant

Now, the politically correct term is 'put the cat down', but that's usually to prevent the suffering of the animal. In this case, it was killing the cat because the vet wasn't getting his money.

I was disgusted by what seemed to be a common practice in America, according to people who replied to the girl's messages. Some said that some vets would treat an animal for what you could afford, if you weren't able to afford the full costs, but that was a rarity.

I asked my flatmate about the resident vet at her pet store, where she works. She agreed with the policy, saying that if the customer can't pay for the treatment, then it's obvious they can't afford to keep the animal either, and it would be at the vet's discretion what they did with the animal. It was pretty much saying that being unable to afford the vet's exorbitant fees was cruelty to the animal, therefore you didn't deserve to own it, and so a likely option was to put the animal down so as to help it avoid further suffering.

I was horrified!

It's like, what the fuck?

She said, well you wouldn't expect to get free treatment at a hospital, would you?

No, but at least you can make repayment arrangements, AND THEY DON'T KILL YOU IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING PAY!

I didn't say it like that to her, but the thought was there.

My upstairs neighbours spent $5000 on their cat to fix it's fractured leg. The vet put a series of metal splints and bolts in place.

$5000!!!!

The other option was that if they didn't get that done, the cat would walk with a limp.

Holy shit.

I guess if you got more money than sense, you'd pay $5000 to heal a leg that'll heal naturally anyway. Is $5000 worth it to have a cat not limping?

I guess to some. Would I be cruel to my cat if I couldn't afford to pay $5000 to have an un-limping cat? Would the cat be put down to save it from further cruelty?

I'm fuming at the attitude to animals that I'm just discovering is common, sanctioned by a higher-than-thou attitude that a vet knows what's best for the animal, and death is what's best under some circumstances.

end rant

I was reading a message board last week that caters to cat owners, reading what others experience and advise. There was an 18 year old girl in America talking about her cat that was sick, it needed an operation. She wasn't able to afford the operation costs, and she wasn't able to afford the $500 that the vet wanted to charge for keeping it overnight and making the diagnosis. The sickness wasn't life threatening, but the vet kept the cat until she could pay the $500. A week went by and the vet demanded the money, the girl wasn't able to pay, the vet killed the cat.

begin rant

Now, the politically correct term is 'put the cat down', but that's usually to prevent the suffering of the animal. In this case, it was killing the cat because the vet wasn't getting his money.

I was disgusted by what seemed to be a common practice in America, according to people who replied to the girl's messages. Some said that some vets would treat an animal for what you could afford, if you weren't able to afford the full costs, but that was a rarity.

I asked my flatmate about the resident vet at her pet store, where she works. She agreed with the policy, saying that if the customer can't pay for the treatment, then it's obvious they can't afford to keep the animal either, and it would be at the vet's discretion what they did with the animal. It was pretty much saying that being unable to afford the vet's exorbitant fees was cruelty to the animal, therefore you didn't deserve to own it, and so a likely option was to put the animal down so as to help it avoid further suffering.

I was horrified!

It's like, what the fuck?

She said, well you wouldn't expect to get free treatment at a hospital, would you?

No, but at least you can make repayment arrangements, AND THEY DON'T KILL YOU IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING PAY!

I didn't say it like that to her, but the thought was there.

My upstairs neighbours spent $5000 on their cat to fix it's fractured leg. The vet put a series of metal splints and bolts in place.

$5000!!!!

The other option was that if they didn't get that done, the cat would walk with a limp.

Holy shit.

I guess if you got more money than sense, you'd pay $5000 to heal a leg that'll heal naturally anyway. Is $5000 worth it to have a cat not limping?

I guess to some. Would I be cruel to my cat if I couldn't afford to pay $5000 to have an un-limping cat? Would the cat be put down to save it from further cruelty?

I'm fuming at the attitude to animals that I'm just discovering is common, sanctioned by a higher-than-thou attitude that a vet knows what's best for the animal, and death is what's best under some circumstances.

end rant