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Monday, July 04, 2005

Rejected Again

It doesn't matter how good looking you are, or how confident you are, or how funny you are, or how much you prepare. You will always be rejected by someone. There's a saying: "you can't please everyone all the time". And neither can you please all the women all the time.

So don't try. Accept that there's going to be some women you're not going to please, and who will reject you.

They could be rejecting you for so many reasons, none of which you can control. Maybe she feels ill and not in the mood to talk. Maybe she's got a boyfriend or partner, and isn't available. Maybe she's got her eye on another guy and you're a distraction she's just not interested in right now. Maybe your brand of cologne reminds her of an abusive ex, and she'd just rather not want to be around you to avoid the memories.

The point is, you don't know why you're being rejected, but it's usually NOT because of you. How could it be about you? They don't know you! You could be the most eligible guy in the world, but she would never know because she's too busy rejecting you!

So understand that it's never personal. Understand that she's rejecting you for her own reasons, whatever they are, and not because you're a shmuck.

Of course, if you ARE a shmuck, then you need to clean up your act! If you're getting slapped, then stop using that line. If she screws up her face at you and looks at your bright yellow shirt with blue polka dots, then stop wearing that shirt! If any woman gives you feedback about why they're not interested in you, LISTEN! Thank her, and then walk away.

Don't take offence, even if she IS trying to be hurtful. You don't need to lower yourself to her level. Listen to what she says, and if you think she has a point. go ahead and work on changing it, to avoid anyone else possibly rejecting you for the same reasons. Of course, if the rejection is for something you can't change, then that's fine. Move on and keep looking for someone who will appreciate you REGARDLESS. They're out there, they really are. You just have to keep looking for them.

Thomas Edison, the inventor of the light bulb, failed to light up the bulb 3000 times, before he finally succeeded. When he was asked why he didn't give up, he said he was not disappointed that he had "failed" 3,000 times in trying to make the perfect light bulb because he had learned 3,000 ways not to do it.

Every time you fail with a woman, you are learning yet another way of how NOT to do it. Each date with another woman is another woman closer to the RIGHT woman!

Whether you succeed or fail, remember this - you will eventually succeed! But you have to keep trying.

Persistence is the key. Along with believe that you WILL succeed. It doesn't matter how many times you fail to win a woman's heart, because you really will win a woman's heart eventually. You just have to keep trying.

Giving up and getting bitter about it will not let you succeed. You're not just being rejected by women in that case, you're rejecting yourself! You're giving up on your efforts, and on that belief of eventual success. You are rejecting yourself, and that is something you MUST NOT DO!

We are our own worst critics. The amount of love people have for themselves is obvious. Just look around you. How many people do you see who really love themselves? How many people around you are confident, happy, relaxed and look after themselves? How many people do you know who you can truly say do NOT reject themselves in some way?

I bet you can't find a single person, and if you can, you'll be able to count them on one hand.

Start appreciating yourself. Understand that you can't please everyone all the time, so STOP TRYING. Just please yoursel (but not at anyone else's expense!), and you will find that rejections won't matter any more.

Learn how to improve your appearance if necessary, and your attitude. But really, it's her loss if she rejects you, and it's YOUR loss if you reject yourself. Stop the cycle of rejection by choosing to stop rejecting yourself.

Accept those flaws you have. Accept the bad habits. Change what you can change, and accept what you can't. If you can't change it, there's no point creating feelings of negativity about it. Move on from that!

When you can begin to accept yourself, and stop rejecting yourself, then the rejections of others will have no meaning to you. You are on a path of adventure and discovery and learning, and everything you experience is something that helps you grow better. Other people have no idea what you're learning, and they have no idea of who you are. So any rejection of you is THEIR issue, not yours.

Just learn from what happens around you, and grow from it. Become the best that you can be. Make wise choices about your life and your lifestyle, and you will find that rejections don't matter any more.

And then you'll find the perfect girl who'll think you're the perfect man.

Give it a try. You'll be surprised.

Posted on 7/04/2005 02:26:00 PM


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