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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Dark suckers

How do you feel about having believed in a lie all these years? The lie of light bulbs emitting light. In fact, they don't emit light. They suck dark. The proof is all around you.

Take the dark sucker in the room you're in. There's much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The further you get from the dark sucker, the more dark there is! Makes sense really. And the more powerful the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.

Dark suckers don't last forever though. Once they're full of dark, they can't suck any more. This is proven by the dark spot that you see on a full dark sucker that just doesn't work any more.

Candles are basic dark suckers. New candles have white wicks, and once they start sucking the dark, the wick begins to turn black. If you put a pencil next to the wick of a burning candle, it'll turn black too. Why? Because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle, that's why! This is why you shouldn't get too close yourself, 'cause interfering with the dark sucking can be quite painful.

Dark is also heavier than light. If you were to swim just under the surface of a lak, you would see a lot of light above you. As you sink down, you'll notice it getting darker and darker, and eventually you'll be surrounded by the dark. This is 'cause the dark sinks to the bottom, while the lighter stuff floats to the top.

Now you know why it's called light.

Finally, dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet and slowly opened the door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast you won't be able to see the dark leave the closet. Dark is faster than light.

Next time you see an electric bulb or a candle, remember that it's sucking dark. If anyone tells you any differently, they're wrong.

Thanks to: The dark sucker theory.

Posted on 3/22/2006 09:25:00 AM Backlinks


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3 Comments:

Blogger Terrence said...

I love this, I will have to consider this.

3/22/2006 01:52:00 AM  
Blogger Chancelucky said...

Do dark suckers wind up in white holes instead of black holes?

3/22/2006 10:26:00 AM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Wow. So that's what it's really like to actually believe an obvious lie... "Dark Suckers"... Jesus Christ. All I can say is that it definitely does SUCK! =-)

3/22/2006 10:54:00 AM  

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