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Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Some thoughts

What an interesting couple of days it's been in here, in this journal. I announce a realisation of my personal preferences, and suddenly, I'm made to feel as if I have no right to have those preferences. I didn't want to continue having to justify my actions, because it's all about my choices which aren't hurting anyone else. However, it's turned out to mean a lot to some people (hello Angelface :-)), so I'll continue to do so for as long as it's required.

If I announced that I'm not going to go out with blondes any more, and only stick with brunettes, there'd be no issue. I've already made it known that I'm not interested in dating overweight women at all, and there's been no issue on that either. But as soon as I say I'm only interested in asians, suddenly all hell breaks loose!

Fascinating.

Admittedly, I'm aware that it's mainly centred around the words I used to describe my view of western women, as having more bullshit than asian women. It's untrue, of course, and was inflammatory. Women of any race have their issues, their 'bullshit', just like men of any race. Including me. No one is safe from it. Some have less issues than others.

My journal entries are an expression of who I am, and the perceptions I have as a result of my experiences through life. If I have generally had bad experiences, and read about bad experiences, then my journal entries are going to reflect that. When I say 'western women', I say it as being my experiences and knowledge of them. It doesn't mean that if you're someone I've never met, that I'm talking about you personally. But some people seem to take it that way, when it's not been about them at all. It's been about me.

It's funny that the only people against decisions that are limiting - but by choice - are those that feel somehow affected by it themselves. It's my choice as to whether or not I want to be with brunettes and not blondes, or slim women and not overweight women, or asian women and not western women. But the ones who seem resentful of my choices are blondes, overweight women and western women, none of whom should really care about my choices, because there's so many other men out there that DO choose them. *shrug*

My implication that western women have more bullshit than asian women is untrue. What I really meant was that in my experience, I've had more bullshit from western women than I've had from asian women, and I've read about more western women bullshit than I have about asian women bullshit.

It's like, everyone is screwed up somehow. We just have to work out how much of someone's bullshit we can tolerate in our lives, and if we find that a person's bullshit is endearing and helps us love them more, then that's great. But if it's just too much for us to handle, then we move on to someone else who has bullshit we CAN handle. :-D And who can handle our own, of course.

For me, ultimately, it's about the different values that are acted upon by women in the different cultures. For me, being a single man wanting to settle down, I want someone of asian background because I feel that their values are more aligned with what I want in a woman.

Asian women are not subservient, etc. That's an attitude that used to be the case, but as freedom and individuality - western concepts - have spread around the world, asian women are discovering that it's ok for them to work and pursue their careers, and their own lives. It's ok for them to stand up for themselves if they need or want to. But at the same time, there is a mix of those western traits and asian values.

The asian values that I like are: greater sense of commitment, caring, giving, 'what can I do for you', respectful, appreciative.

Respect. That's an interesting trait to want. Some could say that means I want someone to look up to me. No, I just want someone to respect who I am and what I mean to them, as much as I would respect them. Many women demand respect without giving respect. I'd like to trade respect equally. What I'm after from someone is the same as what I'd like to give to someone.

Psychologically, I'm aware that all of this is primarily based on my experiences with Wakana. I'm looking for another Wakana, because I got so much from the relationship with her. I curse myself for throwing it away, and I want it back. Obviously not with her, but with someone else. That's what I think this is all abut, but it's something I'm embracing rather than rejecting.

Posted on 2/18/2004 12:25:00 PM Backlinks


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