Ever since my recent holiday with Mel around the north island of New Zealand, I've taken to being a lot more serious about money, and the spending of it. I overspent my budget on the holiday, and it's annoyed me that not only did I do less than I wanted to, but I spent more than I was able to. This is because of a pattern in my life that's centred around a lack of discipline and foresight involving money and the use of it.

I've had illusions of grandeur, about getting involved in various schemes to increase the money I have, but they've all fallen by the wayside, one way or another. Instead, I've simply been going through life and enjoying the lifestyle that I'm capable of, without thought of the future. I've had the philosophy of living one day at a time, and just enjoying the moment.

It's all very well and good to live for the moment, but living without thought for the future hasn't done me much good.

So now I'm getting serious about it all.

Since the holiday I've started a very detailed budget that I've planned out the rest of this year on. I'm going to be more disciplined about my spending habits, and instead of wasting money, I'll account for everything that I spend. I'll assign budgets to various areas of my life, and do what I can to stick to it. I've also created an extra 'necessary expense' that equals 10% of my after-tax income. That expense is a savings account, that's not going to be touched (except for emergencies, of course). Emergencies used to be movies or dinner out... But not any more.

I'm going to get rid of debts that I've built up, and as my strategy will be simple. Find an extra $100 per month and put it into the smallest debt. When that debt is paid off, take the amount I was paying to that debt and add it to the spare $100 and add that to the payments of the next debt. And then, when that debt is paid off, take the amount I was paying to that debt and add it all to the payments of the next debt, and so on. With this method, I should be able to get rid of all debt within the next 18 months.

Once I get this pattern started, and a solid savings plan under way, any leftover cash each week will go to paying off debt as well, over and above what I've got planned.

When I'm completely out of debt (eg. credit cards, loans, etc), I'll then start using the extra cash to invest in property. I have a plan for that too...

I've been researching it over the past couple of years, as I've mentioned in past journal entries, by reading about property investment on the internet, buying books, and talking to people who are already doing it. I bought a book last week called From 0 to 130 Properties in 3.5 Years, which has been fantastic for the advice and experience it offers. The idea presented in the book is not necessarily to buy property for capital gains (although that's a beneficial bonus if you can get it), but to buy property for the passive income it can provide.

Instead of negative gearing, which is to buy a property to lose money, and then deduct it from your tax, the author doesn't see the sense in buying something to lose you money, and hope to make it back in 20+ years through capital gains. Instead, he favours the approach of buying a house that, from the beginning, is 'cashflow positive'. Eg. buy a house that's being rented, or can be rented out, and the income from the rent covers ALL the costs of owning that house, giving a profit each week (even if it's only $50 a week).

Over time, as you invest in cashflow positive properties, the profit earnt each week provides a 'passive income', which is an income that comes in regardless of any (or much) effort on your part. Ultimately, as you follow this kind of plan, you will gain a passive income that allows you to quit your job, and you become, by definition, financially independent. The author, at the time of writing, has a passive income in excess of $300,000 per year. And over 130 properties, giving him an asset base of many millions of dollars!

I know it's not going to be easy. I know it's not going to happen overnight. But I'm tired of living in debt (like so many others), and I'm tired of having an uncertain future by not having enough money to cover emergency costs.

This has been accentuated by the recent death of my car's starter motor, which is expensive to fix (shouldn't expect too much else with a BMW though...). Because of various other costs and my lack of an emergency fund, I'm having to wait until I can increase my 'spare cash' in order to pay for the repair of it.

'Princess' has been wonderful. She's been very understanding and accommodating, and as we've been seeing each other, I've been able to use her generosity to allow me the use of her car when we've been together for me to go shopping, etc. We've gone shopping together, which has been nice, and last weekend she went to Christchurch and let me use her car while she was gone. She's lovely, and her support has been wonderful. I've also gone through my budget with her and shown her my plans. She's an accountant, and has approved. )

I was going to sell my car once it's repaired, and use the money to put towards debt and buy a cheap car. However, after researching the for-sale value of the BMW, I've discovered that the value is about one-third what I originally paid for it just over 3 years ago. It's become the 'cheap car' that I was planning on buying... So now I'm just going to keep using it until it's run into the ground, or stolen and written off. (It's insured for the amount I purchased it. Sure, the insurance payments are a little higher than if I insured it for market value, but the benefit was worth it, as far as I was concerned.)

So that's the update on that part of my life. I hope to have my first investment property before the end of next year.

Ever since my recent holiday with Mel around the north island of New Zealand, I've taken to being a lot more serious about money, and the spending of it. I overspent my budget on the holiday, and it's annoyed me that not only did I do less than I wanted to, but I spent more than I was able to. This is because of a pattern in my life that's centred around a lack of discipline and foresight involving money and the use of it.

I've had illusions of grandeur, about getting involved in various schemes to increase the money I have, but they've all fallen by the wayside, one way or another. Instead, I've simply been going through life and enjoying the lifestyle that I'm capable of, without thought of the future. I've had the philosophy of living one day at a time, and just enjoying the moment.

It's all very well and good to live for the moment, but living without thought for the future hasn't done me much good.

So now I'm getting serious about it all.

Since the holiday I've started a very detailed budget that I've planned out the rest of this year on. I'm going to be more disciplined about my spending habits, and instead of wasting money, I'll account for everything that I spend. I'll assign budgets to various areas of my life, and do what I can to stick to it. I've also created an extra 'necessary expense' that equals 10% of my after-tax income. That expense is a savings account, that's not going to be touched (except for emergencies, of course). Emergencies used to be movies or dinner out... But not any more.

I'm going to get rid of debts that I've built up, and as my strategy will be simple. Find an extra $100 per month and put it into the smallest debt. When that debt is paid off, take the amount I was paying to that debt and add it to the spare $100 and add that to the payments of the next debt. And then, when that debt is paid off, take the amount I was paying to that debt and add it all to the payments of the next debt, and so on. With this method, I should be able to get rid of all debt within the next 18 months.

Once I get this pattern started, and a solid savings plan under way, any leftover cash each week will go to paying off debt as well, over and above what I've got planned.

When I'm completely out of debt (eg. credit cards, loans, etc), I'll then start using the extra cash to invest in property. I have a plan for that too...

I've been researching it over the past couple of years, as I've mentioned in past journal entries, by reading about property investment on the internet, buying books, and talking to people who are already doing it. I bought a book last week called From 0 to 130 Properties in 3.5 Years, which has been fantastic for the advice and experience it offers. The idea presented in the book is not necessarily to buy property for capital gains (although that's a beneficial bonus if you can get it), but to buy property for the passive income it can provide.

Instead of negative gearing, which is to buy a property to lose money, and then deduct it from your tax, the author doesn't see the sense in buying something to lose you money, and hope to make it back in 20+ years through capital gains. Instead, he favours the approach of buying a house that, from the beginning, is 'cashflow positive'. Eg. buy a house that's being rented, or can be rented out, and the income from the rent covers ALL the costs of owning that house, giving a profit each week (even if it's only $50 a week).

Over time, as you invest in cashflow positive properties, the profit earnt each week provides a 'passive income', which is an income that comes in regardless of any (or much) effort on your part. Ultimately, as you follow this kind of plan, you will gain a passive income that allows you to quit your job, and you become, by definition, financially independent. The author, at the time of writing, has a passive income in excess of $300,000 per year. And over 130 properties, giving him an asset base of many millions of dollars!

I know it's not going to be easy. I know it's not going to happen overnight. But I'm tired of living in debt (like so many others), and I'm tired of having an uncertain future by not having enough money to cover emergency costs.

This has been accentuated by the recent death of my car's starter motor, which is expensive to fix (shouldn't expect too much else with a BMW though...). Because of various other costs and my lack of an emergency fund, I'm having to wait until I can increase my 'spare cash' in order to pay for the repair of it.

'Princess' has been wonderful. She's been very understanding and accommodating, and as we've been seeing each other, I've been able to use her generosity to allow me the use of her car when we've been together for me to go shopping, etc. We've gone shopping together, which has been nice, and last weekend she went to Christchurch and let me use her car while she was gone. She's lovely, and her support has been wonderful. I've also gone through my budget with her and shown her my plans. She's an accountant, and has approved. )

I was going to sell my car once it's repaired, and use the money to put towards debt and buy a cheap car. However, after researching the for-sale value of the BMW, I've discovered that the value is about one-third what I originally paid for it just over 3 years ago. It's become the 'cheap car' that I was planning on buying... So now I'm just going to keep using it until it's run into the ground, or stolen and written off. (It's insured for the amount I purchased it. Sure, the insurance payments are a little higher than if I insured it for market value, but the benefit was worth it, as far as I was concerned.)

So that's the update on that part of my life. I hope to have my first investment property before the end of next year.

I worked the graveyard shift on Saturday morning, from midnight to 8am, so that the guy who normally does it could go out and get drunk at the pub crawl sponsored by work. At around 3am, I received a call from the wife of one of my colleagues/friends, wanting to know where he was. I told her I hadn't seen him. She called again at 4, and again at 5. At around 6am, he turned up drunk, wanting to get into the building so that he could sleep his drunkennes off. I told him his wife had been calling every hour for him, but his response was 'she'll be right mate'. He went upstairs to have a sleep, after agreeing that I'd take him home when I finished at 8. His wife rang again around 6:30, and I told her he was upstairs asleep, and that I'd get him to call her when he woke up. She rang again at 7:30, and I told her he hadn't woken up yet. At 8, I went upstairs to grab him and take him home.

That's when I found him in the sickroom with one of our other workmates, doing the deed! (The deed being sex, of course!) Needless to say, I was rather surprised to open the door, thinking he'd be there sleeping by himself, and finding two naked people going hard at it! Argh!

He wasn't too perturbed, and said he wasn't going home and to call his wife and tell her he was still asleep and wasn't going anywhere and that he'd call her when he woke up. I called him an idiot and then went off to call her. She wasn't happy at all (naturally!) and so she said she was coming in straight away to pick him up and take him home.

So I went back upstairs, knocking on the door and telling him his wife was on his way there now, and he'd better get his arse downstairs quick smart. Then I went home.

I had coffee with him yesterday afternoon, to catch up on events leading up to and since then. I learnt all about what had happened to lead up to the point I found him, and that his wife, while angry at him for not calling, was blissfully ignorant.

I thought about being an extortionist, and joked with him about how I could rake in a tidy little profit for the rest of my life... *grin* But instead, I'd just be happy to call him an idiot. We spoke about his 2-month marriage to the woman he's been with for over 7 years, his past 'exploits', and other random acts of idiocy. I told him to be a good boy from now on, but I'm sure he won't.

Some people just don't deserve the good women they're with.

Speaking of good women...

Things are still going extremely nicely with 'princess' and I. It's been almost a month now, and we're just moving along nice and slowly and nicely.

I finally got myself a new flatmate today - she moved in this afternoon. Thank God! I was starting to get frantic, as Penny's rent payment was about to run out on the 15th, so I only had a few days grace left. I had an advertisement in Saturday's paper again, and I was astounded that NO-ONE RANG! I couldn't believe it... But the person who's moved in (her name is Michelle) saw the ad in last week's paper. She's really nice, and also works at the nearby pet store. She also has a cat of her own, so it looks like Eve is going to have a playmate again.

I went to Swee's baptism on Saturday night (an Easter service of some kind) and had a nice time getting in people's way as I stood in front of them taking photos, hassling the head honcho (Father someone-or-other) about the names he gave people (every guy was George and every woman was Suzy), standing there without bothering to even pretend to sing the songs and disguising my yawns, and looking around at all the people praying to the floor (if God is in Heaven above us, why do they all pray to the floor? Doesn't Satan live below us?). At least I got some good photos for Swee of her baptism, so she was happy. And while I was surprised they didn't kick me out, at least I got the head honcho to express his disgust that I wasn't wearing a cross on the chain around my neck.

:ph34r:

Seriously though, it was a nice evening. There's some nice people in church, and some lonely people too. There was a girl there who had been there since 4pm that day (the service didn't start until 7pm), apparently because she had gotten the time wrong. However, by the end of the evening, and after seeing how lonely she was through her interactions with others (and pretending to receive phone calls on her new cellphone when it never rang - and then pretending to be surprised as to why they hung up), it was obvious that she just needed company and to be noticed. I'm sure the church and her religion gave her some of what she craved.

The biggest interest for me was the rituals they had throughout the service, and trying to work out how those rituals originated, and for what real purpose. Bizarre.

And then there was a reading (one of a few) about Moses parting the Red Sea. I didn't know that Moses and the Israelites were running from the Egyptians. The sea parted, the Isrealites ran through the canyon of water, and when the Egyptians saw them escaping, they set off through the canyon of water themselves, in a bid to catch the Israelites. And then when Moses and his band of fellow escapees safely ran up the beach on the other side, God let the sea wash back in on itself, and killed the entire army of Egyptians.

And the wording and pacing of the story made it obvious how evil and dastardly the Egyptians were, and how the destruction of their entire army of many hundreds of thousands of people was miniscule in the destruction that SHOULD have been heaped upon the Egyptians. I was left with the feeling that Christians would love to see all of the Egyptians exterminated as a race, and that the Israelites were the only true and proper people on the earth. Genocide is a good thing, especially if God makes it so.

I can see why the Egyptians tried to destroy Israel in 1967.

How would you feel growing up as an Egyptian, and knowing that the Bible, the official 'word of God', promotes your death as a race as being a good thing?

I wouldn't feel very positive towards Christianity and their stories about my people, that's for sure.

But hey, that's just me and my opinion as an outsider looking in. Everyone else within the church probably just saw how good it was that Moses and his bunch of loyal hippies were saved by God. I saw the death and destruction caused by them instead. Does that make me evil?

*shrug*

Things are moving along nicely with Swee - we're having a good time enjoying each other's company, which is great.

I was talking to someone the other day (I can't remember who it was!) about how I've been involved with a number of married women over the years. They, like many others, felt that it was a bad thing being in an intimate relationship with a married woman. I used to agree - many years ago! These days I have a different opinion.

My first experiences with married women were all 'out of my control'. I was relatively young and naive and seduced in various ways that were or weren't enjoyable for me. I used to think that being involved with a married woman was bad because it was detrimental to the relationship with their husbands. However, I didn't realise at the time that the reason they were interested in an affair with me was because the relationship with their husbands had ALREADY degraded to the point where being with another man was worth the possibility of losing their husband. In most cases, I felt better about my involvement in those affairs afterwards because the lives of those women generally changed for the better after the affair with me. So I thought to myself that I had been a good influence on their lives.

The reality was more likely that regardless of who they had an affair with, the experience would have been enough to make them think about themselves and their marriage, and do something to improve it or their personal happiness. It was me being somewhat egotistical in thinking that I was personally responsible for positive change or growth in their lives. While that's somewhat true, I think it would have happened regardless of whom they had an affair with.

In recent times I've had a different attitude; maybe less egotistical in terms of my involvement in their life. I've thought, 'Hey, if they're interested in having an affair with someone, and I'm single, then why not? If it's not me, then it's going to be someone else, so I may as well take advantage of the situation.'

That's just me being a single man and opportunistic, and having learnt from my life and the experiences within it.

I was inspired to write about this because I read some random person's journal today, while I was doing a web search for something completely unrelated to what the journal was about, but it caught my interest. Tthey were talking about innocently being a married woman's friend (he was single), and she ended up wanting an affair with him. He was shocked that she could even consider having an affair with him, and agonised long and hard about how his involvement with her could seriously impact her marriage, and he didn't want to be the one to cause the breakup of a happy family.

I thought to myself, how noble... but how pathetic!

Again, it's not the individual outside of the marriage that would cause problems within the marriage - it's the married woman (or man, as the case may be) who already HAS problems within the marriage, and that's why they're seeking gratification from someone else.

I'm of the firm opinion that if you're a single guy (or woman) and a married woman (or man) wants a relationship with you, you have to weigh up the risks related to the benefits. Are you attracted to her? Can you be discreet? Can you live a lie in some respects? Do you know the husband personally and if so, can you sleep with his wife? Is the risk of being found out by him worth the consequences for yourself? Is he a weak person? (That may determine what the consequences might be - if he's a mild-mannered geek, then there's little risk to yourself, but if he's a 6' 6" tall meathead who practices his kickboxing by shaking the foundations of the house, you might want to reconsider...)

If you can answer yes to all of those questions, then being the man that a married woman has an affair with might be something you'd want to consider. (I've just researched and discovered that there's absolutely no male equivalent of the term 'mistress' in the English language. So while married men can have mistresses, married women just have affairs...)

However, if you have morals and ethics that prevent you from being involved with a married person, then simply don't get involved.

My entire discussion here has simply been around the inspiration behind this entry - that the man felt he couldn't get involved because he didn't want to break up a happy marriage. If it was a happy marriage, she wouldn't be wanting to have an affair with him, would she? That's the point I'm making.

As for me, I've come to think that if it's not me, then it's going to be someone else that she - whoever the married woman might be - has an affair with. So if I'm single, then I may as well enjoy what comes my way.

If I'm not single, it's a completely different story. I wouldn't even consider having an affair on my partner (and never have). My own loyalty to others - especially those who I love and who love me - is extremely important to me. While I understand it's not as important for many other attached men or women, it's not something I'd do myself. Playing around is only fine when I'm single, not when I'm attached.

Penny moved out over the past week (she's moved in with her boyfriend, so all the best to them. ), and so I'm now hunting for a flatmate. I've actually been hunting for the past week, but strangely enough, haven't had any luck. I've put advertisements around the place and even had an ad going in today's newspaper. It's 11:22am right now, and I've had only one phone call from it. It sucks. I don't know if there's just no one looking for share accommodation right now, or if my suburb isn't interesting enough for them, or if my ad sucks, and so on....

However, I've placed an ad in a very popular local message forum full of computer gamers, so maybe I'll get some interest from that (especially seeing as how I noted my high-speed internet connection - which I upgraded last month to a 256k connection).

I'm going to reprint some more ads and place it around supermarkets in the area and in the city, and see if I can find other interesting places to put it.

Well, I got back from the road trip on the 24th March, and I hung out with Mel until the 30th, when she caught her flight to Vancouver in Canada (via Auckland - Los Angeles - Vancouver). I've been spending the past week 'coming down' from the holiday, just mellowing out and relaxing with Mel. And then when Mel had gone, I discovered I missed her a lot. It depressed me for a couple of days.

When you've been with someone 24 hours a day for 11 days, and then 16 hours a day for another week, you really notice they're gone when they're no longer around.

Mel and I had so much fun over the past 2-3 weeks, it's like we became part of each other. For the first few days of the trip there were things each of us did that irritated the other, and I was, at one stage, wondering how we were going to make it through another week without killing each other. But we learnt to adapt and accept those annoying habits and mannerisms of each other, and everything became so much more enjoyable after that.

But it meant that when she left, I missed the person who has been the only one of my friends from Australia to ever take the time to come and see me in New Zealand, and who has constantly emailed or phoned me to find out how I am. She has been the only person in my life who I've ever spent such an intensive time with, and enjoyed the longest and most interesting and enjoyable holiday I've ever had.

I think it's cemented a friendship for life.

It also made me understand how things have changed between us. Where I was once attracted to her and wanted a relationship with her, now I'm not, and I'm just happy for the wonderful friendship we have.

Highlights of the trip:

Having a cup of tea and biscuits after coming out of the cave tour at Waitomo Caves.



And then there was the view from the Cathedral Cove lookout (at Coromandel Peninsula):



and that was only half of it. There was just so much to see from up there on top of the cliffs - it was awe inspiring. Here's another excellent one:



The celebration on the night of St Patrick's Day in Whangarei. Funny story there... There were 4 beautiful young ladies that I was with that night, and at one point a local (I assume) came up and started chatting up one of the ladies. What was funny was that he kept looking at me, and I could see the thoughts going across his face: is he going to get pissed of that I'm chatting up the women he's with? Will he mind? What's that expression on his face? Am I going to regret it or should I keep chatting her up? Was hilarious.

Getting half drunk at a nightclub in Auckland. Funny story there.... I went to the bar to buy Mel and I a couple of shots of butterscotch & rum or whatever it was, and I walked back to where we were sitting. There were 4 guys hanging around Mel, with one of them chatting to her and the other 3 looking on, but they were all sitting with her or draped over the backrest of the long couch she was sitting on. I squeezed through them with the drinks and placed one in front of her and in front of me. We toasted each other and threw them back, and then I laughed to myself as the 4 guys all quickly disappeared. It was obvious to them that she was 'with me'. What was even funnier was that as I was approaching them with the drinks in the first place, Mel looked like she was doing her best to ignore them. Some people just persist when there's no point.

Relaxing in a hot spa that fed into the pool that was accessible from the balcony door of our room at Rotorua.

Getting a massage at Lake Taupo. Sunset at Lake Taupo. Walking around town with Mel as we looked for somewhere to eat.

Frolicking on various beaches around the country with Mel.

And so many other things that I can't quite recall at the moment.

I've had three and a half weeks of holiday - the longest holiday I've had in my life. It's the longest I've ever been away from work in almost 4 years (since I started there). I was away for 3 weeks a few months after I started (xmas / new year of 2000 / 2001) - this beats it by a few days.

Next week it's back to work. I'm so not looking forward to it.

But it's good to be back.

Well, I got back from the road trip on the 24th March, and I hung out with Mel until the 30th, when she caught her flight to Vancouver in Canada (via Auckland - Los Angeles - Vancouver). I've been spending the past week 'coming down' from the holiday, just mellowing out and relaxing with Mel. And then when Mel had gone, I discovered I missed her a lot. It depressed me for a couple of days.

When you've been with someone 24 hours a day for 11 days, and then 16 hours a day for another week, you really notice they're gone when they're no longer around.

Mel and I had so much fun over the past 2-3 weeks, it's like we became part of each other. For the first few days of the trip there were things each of us did that irritated the other, and I was, at one stage, wondering how we were going to make it through another week without killing each other. But we learnt to adapt and accept those annoying habits and mannerisms of each other, and everything became so much more enjoyable after that.

But it meant that when she left, I missed the person who has been the only one of my friends from Australia to ever take the time to come and see me in New Zealand, and who has constantly emailed or phoned me to find out how I am. She has been the only person in my life who I've ever spent such an intensive time with, and enjoyed the longest and most interesting and enjoyable holiday I've ever had.

I think it's cemented a friendship for life.

It also made me understand how things have changed between us. Where I was once attracted to her and wanted a relationship with her, now I'm not, and I'm just happy for the wonderful friendship we have.

Highlights of the trip:

Having a cup of tea and biscuits after coming out of the cave tour at Waitomo Caves.



And then there was the view from the Cathedral Cove lookout (at Coromandel Peninsula):



and that was only half of it. There was just so much to see from up there on top of the cliffs - it was awe inspiring. Here's another excellent one:



The celebration on the night of St Patrick's Day in Whangarei. Funny story there... There were 4 beautiful young ladies that I was with that night, and at one point a local (I assume) came up and started chatting up one of the ladies. What was funny was that he kept looking at me, and I could see the thoughts going across his face: is he going to get pissed of that I'm chatting up the women he's with? Will he mind? What's that expression on his face? Am I going to regret it or should I keep chatting her up? Was hilarious.

Getting half drunk at a nightclub in Auckland. Funny story there.... I went to the bar to buy Mel and I a couple of shots of butterscotch & rum or whatever it was, and I walked back to where we were sitting. There were 4 guys hanging around Mel, with one of them chatting to her and the other 3 looking on, but they were all sitting with her or draped over the backrest of the long couch she was sitting on. I squeezed through them with the drinks and placed one in front of her and in front of me. We toasted each other and threw them back, and then I laughed to myself as the 4 guys all quickly disappeared. It was obvious to them that she was 'with me'. What was even funnier was that as I was approaching them with the drinks in the first place, Mel looked like she was doing her best to ignore them. Some people just persist when there's no point.

Relaxing in a hot spa that fed into the pool that was accessible from the balcony door of our room at Rotorua.

Getting a massage at Lake Taupo. Sunset at Lake Taupo. Walking around town with Mel as we looked for somewhere to eat.

Frolicking on various beaches around the country with Mel.

And so many other things that I can't quite recall at the moment.

I've had three and a half weeks of holiday - the longest holiday I've had in my life. It's the longest I've ever been away from work in almost 4 years (since I started there). I was away for 3 weeks a few months after I started (xmas / new year of 2000 / 2001) - this beats it by a few days.

Next week it's back to work. I'm so not looking forward to it.

But it's good to be back.