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Monday, August 15, 2005

Seek and ye shall find
4 comments

Comfort. Stability. Security. These are qualities that I have in my relationship with Deidre. Coincidentally, these are qualities that I've never had in any other relationship in my entire life. Each relationship, until now, had doubt, anxiety, uncertainty, as their qualities. Ah, how times have changed.

"Seek and ye shall find."

I've been seeking, and lo! I have found. There's this underlying belief that this woman is the one I'll spend the rest of my life with. For as long as that might be.

I believe it's called 'commitment', and I don't think I've ever had it to this extent before. Ever.

It's made me realise something about commitment. I think that those people who have commitment issues just haven't found the right one yet. They have commitment issues because, subconsciously (or consciously), they know they're with the wrong person. They're just waiting for the right person to turn up.

I found her, and it's such a relief.


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Posted on 8/15/2005 11:24:00 AM


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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you, and I think you're right - I think committment is linked to how 'right' someone feels for you.

It doesn't matter so much how in love they are if you're feeling like they're not the person you first got to know, chances are you'll feel you're committment eroding away - like me.

The person I thought I was getting involved with seemed to really understand me and I thought the picture they painted of them was just what I'd been looking for.

However, 5 years on, I feel like they're not that person at all, and they still don't 'get' me most of the time.

I'm torn between moving on, and not giving up without trying for a bit longer.......but it's not looking good, or feeling good at this stage, and I get the feeling it will be a sense of relief I feel when I finally find the courage to say enough is enough.

8/19/2005 03:19:00 PM  
Blogger Alan Howard said...

I feel that the sense of relief is already recognised, and you know you'll be relieved. All you're waiting for is the courage to act upon the decision that's probably already been made by you. I wish you all the very best in finding that courage, and holding onto it as you go through with whatever you need to. I know it's not easy, but sometimes you just have to make that decision to move forward, even if it's painful. It's the light at the end of that dark tunnel which always makes it worth it.

8/19/2005 03:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's good to know that your period of waiting is over. Finding true romance with the right person is difficult. and upon finding them, it's not enough that you like or love him/her; you must be ready to commit yourself to that person and not to the relationship.

9/16/2005 05:43:00 PM  
Blogger Alan Howard said...

thank you 'anonymous'. You're right. It's the person you're committing to, not the relationship. Too many people think they're looking for the ideal relationship, when there's no such thing. The ideal person, however, is a different story. Even though there's no such thing as an IDEAL person, you are more likely to find one than an ideal relationship.

Is that dating blog yours?

9/16/2005 07:03:00 PM  

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