I've done things no man should ever have to do. But hey, so has everyone else! So why should I be any different?

That's what I keep telling myself... I'm not so sure I'm convincing myself though. Just because everyone else does it, doesn't make it right. Right?

I was planning on getting my skills up, and joining an appropriate corporation, so that I could engage in activities that would help clear the galaxy of all those scum that prey on others. Those loser types who go around killing others, just for the 'fun' of it. But I've had a few interesting experiences to make me question those goals.

As part of my training, I was involved in the assassination of an apparently enemy agent. I couriered some fuel that would be used on his ship, but the fuel secretly had a detonator in it. I watched him undock from the station and move away before activating the warp drive. That's when the detonator went off.

I left the system before they could lock it down, but I've found out that the investigation included some of our own agents, so 'nothing was found'.

I can remember seeing the explosion, and seeing a couple of nearby ships reeling from the shockwave. But mostly, I remember seeing his face when I delivered the fuel and he signed off on it. I remember him looking just like me. Well, a bit different, but he was the same race.

The solidity of life is only a temporary illusion. As I did to him, someone else could do to me. It could only be a matter of time before someone tries that on me. I might piss someone off somewhere, and boom! I'm gone.

I'm not sure this is something I'd like. Gee, ya think?! Yeh, I think.

And then I was reading the stories of another pilot of this galaxy, who has been writing about his exploits. A bit like me, but he's been doing this longer. He is actively engaging in hunting down pirates, and 'bad guys', people who are on the lower end of the security scale (eg. -0.1 and lower). He was hunting someone who was actively working on getting their security scale back into the positives. They were trying to do 'good things', feeling bad about their actions, and seeking out their redemption.

He absolutely disagreed with bad guys seeking out redemption. He felt that he was their redemption, and the only redemption for them was death. He hunted this person until they were killed by he and his friends. His justification was that they had done the same to others, and so he was 'doing unto them as they did unto others'.

It made me think. I know people can make mistakes. I know that people can choose the wrong path, and do things that they don't like to do, but circumstances make it seem as if it's the best thing for them to do.

I've actively assassinated someone who had done nothing wrong to me. All I had to go on was what someone else told me. Where is the line between me and the person who was hunted down for killing others?

What makes one form of killing right, and another form of killing wrong? Maybe all forms of killing are wrong?

I'm going to be investigating my options, my beliefs, my morals and ethics. And above all, my career in this galaxy. I'm not so sure I want to be an assassin, even of the bad guys. Especially since the only bad guy I've encountered so far apologised for destroying my ship and paid me a quarter of a million in restitution.

Maybe bad guys are just misunderstood and confused. Maybe they need someone to show them the way they should be following.

How can I be involved in that?

I'll think about it.